My Soul Can Rest at Ease: A Fail-Safe Business Model, at Last!

I was worried. In my plans to eventually become the CEO and primary shareholder of a major corporation in an industry wanting to avoid obeying the basic laws of the land, of course I had plans to line the pockets of every politician's campaign fund that I could reasonably gain access to. It sounds fool-proof, right? And avoiding environmental and anti-trust laws is a nice perk, among other rights ordinary citizens don't have access to sounds great. But I was still worried.

I like a sure thing. What IF the politicians gained a little bit of a conscious and tried to introduce an overhaul to the industry I've been bleeding both consumers and professionals dry with for decades??? How can I be sure to frighten voters enough, even when their elected officials I TRIED to persuade fiscally are assuring them their fears are baseless? My prayers were answered in the form of the 24-hour-news networks.

I mean, they HAVE to get their funding somewhere! Why can't my corporation and industry help out?! And who has time to check mere facts for 24-hours worth of news!? And I won't stop at just funding the news station that caters to those who find fear-based "moral" crusades in their morning Alpha-Bits cereal. I need to hedge my bets by funding or convincing the more mainstream news stations! Give enough pseudo facts for more average citizens to believe disaster MAY occur! Or at least a slight inconvenience! Goodness knows, when faced with the slightest doubt, Americans prefer to change nothing or as little as possible!

This solid plan should allow enough fear and doubt to keep regulation of my industry in the mire long enough to buy someone else off! *whew* I am sure gonna sleep well tonight!